Kinders Rock! That's What Makes Them Beautiful...

Good Morning BET's!

The end of another school year is upon us, and I am already feeling the tears welling up in my big melon.  The summer is such a long time for me to not see these kids.  The school year will begin anew in the late summer, and the little cuties will have grown.  Some of them will not be little anymore, and will have moved on to the Intermediate school.

So, I have to remember when they were just brand new Kinders here at Jefferson.  I have to search my memories to see the shy little kiddos that first stepped in that big metal door that they couldn't yet open, nearly six years prior.  Thinking of how shy they were and how curious, and how they have become less shy and more curious, warms my heart.  It also gives me joy in seeing the new group of kids that have come so far this past year.  And many thanks to the greatest Kindergarten Teachers in the solar system, Mrs N and Mrs. G!  You two are amazing and loved by so many who see you work and love these kids every day!

So, as I wipe a tear from my eye, I want to share with you a short video that Mrs. N captured yesterday at the annual talent show.  There were many precious moments, but this one is extra special to me.  It will be a time capsule of these wonderful little souls, and a way for them to see the wonder in their own eyes, and the freedom they had in expression at this age, for a lifetime. I had to rig this, so just humor me and follow the link to the video.

Amazing, am I right?!  So, when the world gets on your last nerve this summer, and you need a lift, just remember this video of these wonderful kids!  They don't know they're beautiful...you know the rest.

Memorial Day and PTSD: Honoring All

Good morning BET's!  Today I will stray a bit from my usual topics, which I do frequently,  to honor our heroes for the Memorial Day weekend.

PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is rapidly becoming an epidemic in our culture.  Although we have known about it for years, it has come to the forefront as do so many other disorders we don't fully understand, with the increased military presence all over the world.

According to the Mayo Clinic, PTSD is defined as, "...a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event."

With the advent of recognition for this disorder affecting more current service people, many veterans from as far back as the Vietnam conflict, the Korean war, and even World War II have come forward with their struggles due to events they experienced while serving our country.  As with so many of these disorders, for years people just assumed that this was just the reality of fighting in a war.  It was an expected outcome from this pressure cooker of  a life in the service.  Many people, including health professionals treated it as something for which the person just needed to "get over", or "move on".  But with so many recent veterans coming forward there has been an increased awareness of the disorder, and an increased desire to find appropriate treatments to better fight this debilitating disease that affects over 5 million people annually.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this affliction also affects non military personnel as well.  Many people who have struggled through the loss of a loved one, or any traumatic event deal with this disorder on a daily basis as well.

While there are many treatments currently offered to address this horribly painful condition, there has not been a clear medical breakthrough that distinguishes itself from the other forms of treatment.  Many people just trudge through life fighting this painful battle alone.

If you know of someone, a loved one, a friend, that suffers with this condition, I urge you to seek help from a qualified mental health professional.  There are many resources out there that can help you get the ball rolling. Just search the internet and you will find copious amounts of information regarding the diagnosis and treatment options for this disorder.  I have include a few links below to get you started.

In closing, I want to just say thanks to all of the veterans who have served, and died so bravely for the freedoms we enjoy today.  And let's not forget the soldiers who may not have lost their lives on the battlefield, but may be at a heightened risk because of PTSD.  I salute you all, and pray for you to be able to get the help you need, and know that the people of this country have your back this time.

This is the National Center for PTSD:
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/ 

This is the Mayo Clinic site:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/basics/definition/con-20022540

A Day Late and A Mother Short

Happy day after Mother's Day BET's!

I tried to write this yesterday, but was thwarted by a longing for my Mom.  This may sound silly to some, but let me explain.

We lost mom in 2011 at 82 years old, sort of out of the blue.  She was living on her own and thriving, but just sort of slipped away from us in a hurry.  My dad had passed the year before, and I truly believe, that after 63 years of marriage to the guy, she just longed for his company again and let herself go to him.

Now, about my amazing mom.  Mom had an unusual gift in parenting her children.  She was able to see past the surface, and look inside each child and find that one spot.  That one spot that meant everything to us.  For example, when I was looking at colleges and my future, she caught me off guard with a comment one day in the kitchen.  I was walking the path of just going to college to get a degree, with no direction at all.  As I was cooking some chili from scratch, she looked at me and said, "have you ever thought about culinary school?  You love to eat, why not do something you really enjoy?"

I know some of you look at that statement and are saying, "Umm, I think she was making a larger statement here."  At first, that's what I kind of thought, too.  But as we talked, I could see that she was sincere in her query, and that she had noticed something about me that I hadn't.  I not only loved to eat, but I enjoyed the creativity involved in building something from a bunch of smaller pieces.  Eventually, I would buy a restaurant and let that love release to the people I served everyday.  While that didn't pan out as intended, (pun intended), to this day I love to cook a variety of dishes.  Some of my recent creations include, venison heart, cow stomach and a beautiful beef liver!  Not all in the same setting, praise the Lord.

While I didn't heed her advice about culinary school, the conversation gave me a perspective on life that I relish today(pun also intended).  This perspective that drives us, what really makes us love life, may not be something we see for ourselves.  We have to allow others to notice and bring it out in us.  In a million years, I never thought I would enjoy working with elementary students.  But a friend of mine gave me that perspective recently with a comment she made.  She said, "You have a great ability to 'be present' for kids.  You make them feel that they are the only thing that you are about in the time you share with them."  Thanks Genie!

So, while my mom really lived this and modeled this for her kids, I think we all have these ideas about people we are close to everyday.  Don't let this information sit in the back of your head any longer.  When you see a gift in someone, share it with them!  Let them know that they are blessed with something that others may not see, and that they should 'let it out'.

I would be terribly remiss if I didn't mention my wife in this post as well.  She had a very special relationship with my folks.  My mom was a mentor to Bren over the span of our relationship, and Bren loved the fact that she was important to her.  I still joke that I think my parents actually liked her more than me.  Brenda has been an incredible mom to our boys, and to countless children that she has touched as well.

So today, look deep into your relationship with your mom, and remember the one thing that she did that made you feel like the only one in the universe.  Then go be that example to someone who you believe in.  That's what mom would do.

Pay It Forward Friday!

Good Morning BET's!

When I think of Paying It Forward, I think of doing good deeds for someone in need, and the resulting "Butterfly" effect that this may have on society.  I know, I watch too many movies, but I do believe these actions can have an enormously positive effect on the lives of those around us.  Today we will look at Paying it Forward from the perspective of elementary aged kids.

The letter below was written by a third grader at an elementary school after certain, unsavory behavior caused their class to lose some privileges.  Even though it was written directly after these unfortunate events, I think the wisdom in its simplicity speaks volumes and can be applied to all of our lives.  Take a look.

So, let's take a look at a few in particular that maybe we can all use on a daily basis.

#1  Plant flowers.  Always a good idea and a way to brighten up the landscape and be green.  Two birds!

#4  Bring food-Not Home Made.  Food is always a good go to.  I love the fact that the stipulation is for non home made food.  Not sure about the message being sent to the parents of this child though.  If you are the parents, you might need to mix it up a bit.

#18  Don't say people stink.  Common sense to most of us and just good policy...even if they DO stink.

#27  Don't wear shorts or dresses in winter.  Pragmatic to the core, this student is really going deep on the paying it forward plan.  There are a variety of reasons this is a good idea, but somehow by abiding to this one, someone else is benefiting.  For instance, you don't want to see me in shorts or a dress in summer, let alone winter!  Point made?

So, as you go about your day today, think of ways to pay it forward.  Focus on making a difference in the lives of those you meet.  Incidentally, feel free to use any of the above.  You're welcome!

New Phobia: Mass Retailers. I Am Wal-Mart!

Good Morning BET's!

I was at Wal-Mart the other day.  I go there frequently to shop for one item that I should have put on a list so that I could combine trips, but I must admit, I enjoy walking the aisles and browsing.  Invariably, I will be approached by a fellow shopper and asked, "Sir, where do you keep your (fill in the blank)."  And this is not solely a Wal-Mart phenomenon for me.  This also happens at Target and Meijer.

Endless Aisles of Deals

My question becomes, why does this happen to me so frequently?  Does this happen to other people as well?  At first, I thought it might be because of the clothes I am wearing.  Maybe I'm wearing a shirt that looks like a blue vest with buttons and a name tag.  I actually checked one time just to make sure.  Nope.  Maybe it's because I have a vacant stare while I am perusing the awesome deals. Maybe I just look like I am in no hurry to leave, so I must be an employee.  No, that is actually counter-intuitive now that I think about it.  So what is it that makes people think I work at these establishments?

Looking at the evidence, I do notice a trend.  When I am at our public library, a venue in which I spend inordinate amounts of time, this  never happens.  I have never been sitting in my lawyer's office and been asked to take a look over someones will.  I also have never been asked for a diagnosis while waiting in the doctor's office.  Why only in mass merchant retailers?

Don't get me wrong.  I started my career in retail at a large discount drug store.  I LOVE retail!  But why, thirty some years later do I carry myself in such a way as to elicit questions about merchandising and store layout?  I think the answer is clear.  I have spent so much time roaming the aisles at these massive stores that a part of my DNA has been altered to reflect this fact.  Wal-Mart, Target and Meijer have actually assimilated me into the fold.  I am Wal-Mart!

Frighteningly, I have noticed other behaviors in myself that lend credence to this theory.  When I take a walk in the woods for instance, I look at the trees and admire their majesty.  But then I catch myself looking at individual branches, trying to find the best leaf, or maybe a better price on one that may be a bit damaged or off center.  When I mow my yard, I find myself mowing first in the places where the customer may not go, to get them to go there first, making them follow an evil maze of turf before they find what they came in here for in the first place.  AHHHhhhhhh!

So, today's life lesson:  Try not to over think things, and shop at Macy's once in a while.  (This has never happened to me at Macy's.)

Elementary School Volunteering

Good afternoon BET's!

I love working at schools!  The day in day out, kids saying the most amazing things and doing things that boggle the mind.(Both good and bad.)  But is it the paycheck at the end of the week that we do it for.  I submit to you a resounding and pleasant, NO.

Flat Stanley at a generic Elementary School

I had the pleasure of working in a an elementary school that welcomes me back any time I can make it in.  I come in unannounced and they find something for me to do.  I open car doors in the morning.  I referee recess all throughout the day.  Sometimes they even trust me to help out at my old job in the library.  I just love coming in and being welcomed to volunteer in whatever capacity they find for me that particular day.

I can tell you one thing for sure.  I have never been turned down to volunteer at this school.  I would venture to say that if you do the same in your local school system, you will receive a similar response.  I don't think it is my amazing skill set that makes this a reality for me.  The truth is, these schools are short staffed frequently and can always use an extra pair of loving hands.  More importantly, the kids need that extra attention as well.

Your presence can free up a teacher that is spread too thin, and might allow them time to focus more on what they need to be working on with the kids.  I have also found that the students they may have me working with, just needed a little extra attention that day, and may make the rest of their day a much more effective use of their time.

Sure, volunteering doesn't pay much monetarily.  Actually, by definition, it pays nothing monetarily.  But, not to be too cliche, it pays huge dividends to my heart, and hopefully the hearts of the kids I get to work with.

Today I was paid in my favorite currency; Hugs and Smiles.  So, don't be shy.  Get in there and let them benefit from your time and heart, and the rewards will be yours to keep.

My First BET-What my Dad Taught Me

Good Morning BET's!

So, obviously there are many many lessons my dad taught me.  His legacy for me though, can be summed up in a few short examples.  He was not your traditional teacher in the sense that he didn't necessarily exhibit a true teaching technique.  He struggled with his patience with lessons like many of us do, especially with younger people.  But his true gift was the example he shared, just by the way he lived his life.

I think my favorite memory of my upbringing concerns an area which all teenagers covet, yet many parents fear, and struggle with greatly.  The drivers license and first car.  While my father was a very successful dentist and had the means to buy his kids a new car when they turned 16, he refrained from this.  Having seven kids, I think this was just good policy.

What was great though, was that while he didn't buy us a new car, he provided a "stable", if you will, of used cars for us to drive.  Being the youngest, when my closest brother left for college, I had my pick of the litter.  Here is that litter:

1.  1978 Chevy Citation
2.  1977 Datsun Pickup
3.  1971 Ford F150
4.  Tractor
5.  Horse

Of these, I chose the 1977 Datsun Pickup.  Many of my friends from high school will remember me driving this Canary Yellow,  yes, Canary Yellow, pickup for my entire high school career.  It also got great gas mileage and after touting this to a friend too many times as a rationalization for driving it, he said,  "Wow!  This car MAKES gas!", which I still find funny today.  What was great about this vehicle was that when it started rusting, dad decided to have it painted.  I was very excited at the prospect.  I thought a candy apple red would be nice, or a British racing green.  So one chilly fall Saturday in 1981,  my dad and I headed of  to start the process.  I assumed we were taking the truck to a body shop to have this done.  Instead, we went to Target, bought a Wagner spray painter and a couple gallons of canary yellow house paint.  The fear in me began to grow.

We headed back to the farm and my dad proceeded to tape off the truck so we would have a clean application.  I questioned this fiercely, or as fiercely as I questioned my dad ever.(read: never out loud).  Three hours later, the truck was finished.  A brighter yellow finish than the original, with the texture of semi-course sandpaper.  I didn't complain and actually congratulated my dad on what a great job he did.

I drove that truck for another three or so years until I left home for good.  I wasn't proud to be driving it, but I was grateful to have a car to drive at all.  The lesson here was that, at sixteen, a car is all about utility.  Getting from A to B.  This vehicle was reliable and it served me well.  Would I have preferred a Corvette or a Mustang...sure.  Would I be alive today had I gotten that wish...maybe not.

My dad provided me with exactly what I needed, not necessarily what I wanted.  So when my son Garrison got his license, while the temptation to buy him his own car was there, I looked back on that lesson and made the right choice.  He drove a 1995 Honda Odyssey minivan.  Funny thing though, Garrison actually thought it was okay.  He actually appreciated having something to drive at all.

So the lesson I learned was transferred to my son.  Be grateful for what you have and contentment will will be compulsory.  Thanks dad!

Break Even Teacher's Come In All Shapes and Sizes

Hi again BET's.  This has been on my mind for some time and I wanted to share it with you.  When I say someone is a BET, I don't necessarily mean in strictly a classroom sense.  You may be an engineer or a crossing guard.  You may be traffic cop or an avid bowler.  A BET to me is anyone with a passion for their subject that takes the time to be there for a student of the same. 

To illustrate I offer the video below.  This is Tommy Emmanuel.  He is one of my favorite artists and a world class guitarist.  He is a multimillionaire and doesn't need to sell more records.  At almost all of his concerts, he takes the time while he is in town to greet his many fans.  He not only greets them, more often than not, he takes the time to encourage them and listen to them.  Watch the video below, but don't focus on the guitar playing.  Watch closely what he makes important to him in this exchange.  "What are you working on?"  "Can I take a closer look?"  His stance is not so much what he can show them, but more about what he can do to show them how special they are.  I hope you enjoy this.  He is a true inspiration to me.

What's wrong with America

Happy Easter BET's!

You will notice that my title doesn't have a question mark at the end of the sentence.  That is because I am not asking the question as much as I am stating one of the myriad of possible answers.  Granted, there are many things that are right about America.  We are blessed in so many ways.  We have many comforts that we take for granted that much of the rest of the world does without...but that doesn't mean we are better or on the right track for any long term success as a country.

One of the areas in which I believe we need work is in our view of what is important and what is not.  My "for instance" today will concern the world of fast food workers.

Over the years, our "better than you" or "I am too good for this" attitude has created a huge problem in my eyes.  As a society, we have created an environment in which we see the work of fast food employees as less than important or essential.  We complain about how the service is lacking or how the quality is low.  My belief is that we have created this attitude over the years by devaluing the role of the minimum wage employee.

If I went to work everyday to a job in which society has led me to believe is below other professions, I don't know if I would have a great fervor for the quality of my output either.  Thirty years ago, people worked in these jobs as a profession.  There was no shame in it.  You went to work and did the best you could because you believed you were providing something of value.  Today, we look at these positions as only a means to an end, or a job anyone can do.  This is not necessarily the case...at least not in my mind.

I hope that somehow, we, as a country, can value these positions again and bring pride back into the mix.  I hope that we can look at these jobs as an opportunity to provide great service and value, and to make this industry blossom again.

I know a lot of you are probably saying, "But wait.  Would you give it your all for minimum wage?"  I get that.  But maybe if we start by looking at the positions as more important and vital to our economy, we will instill some more pride in the people who thanklessly fill these slots.  They are of vital importance to us economically.  If we can do this, maybe we can take that success and take the next step by paying these workers a more livable wage.  I would love to see us become a country again that thrives on quality and rewards those that make that happen.

If this strikes a chord with you, please share this post.  I would love to get a productive dialog going.  But alas, I must head to McDonalds for my $1 Coke Zero. 

Grief Has No Country

Good morning BET's!  Today I just briefly want to reach out to you concerning the South Korean ferry disaster.  Wow, the magnitude of this is something we don't usually see here in the states.  After nearly two days, there are still almost 200 people still missing and death toll has reached 28.

What really prompted me to post this is some news coverage I watched of the survivors and some of the parents.  For those of you that don't know, we lost our oldest boy, Garrison, over five years ago.  He was 19.  The grief and utter despair that we went through was so evident on the faces of the parents who were literally wailing over their children.  I saw their faces and I knew that pain.  There was no language or cultural gap to navigate, I just wanted to be with those people and hug them tight.

So if you have a minute today, say a prayer for those families and just keep them in your thoughts.  We all need each other today.  I am going to Jefferson Elementary again today for "Jogging with Jefferson", and I can tell you now, those kids are in for some serious hugs.  And I may just click my heals...if I can get off the ground.  Have a great day everyone!

The Art of Stooge Labor

Courtesy:  Insomnia Cured Here 2007

Now, before I get started...don't misunderstand the reference.  I am simply stating that, in my case, what I do could be considered such.  With the disclaimer posted, let us proceed.

Good morning BET's!  This morning I got to volunteer at Jefferson Elementary as a floating helper person.  Bren is subbing in the library, so I tagged along as a helper.  For those of you just tuning in, this is the school where I worked as an aide/media person/librarian...er...ish...niner.(thank you Tommy Boy)

I got to see all of those smiling faces that I have missed for the last seventeen odd months and I got enough hugs to catch me up on my hug deficit to about June '13, so still a ways to go.   I got to open doors for the kids as they got out of their cars in front of the school.  I also got to trouble shoot a few Mac tech issues and shelve a bunch of books that I forgot how much I enjoyed, like Amelia Bedelia and Skippyjon Jones.

About fifteen minutes into opening car doors it hit me like a ton of bricks...THIS is my skill set!  Opening car doors, elementary school small talk, hugs and pushing kids on the swings is where I belong!  I'm really good at it!  As this sank in to my innermost place of happy(sorry for the technical jargon), the beauty of this really became clear.  If you really think about it, these tasks require almost no knowledge or training...which is perfect for me!

Think about it.  Let's go down the list.

1.  Opening a car door requires very little skill other than maybe not having vertigo at the time: Check!

2.  Small talk is mostly, "Hey buddy!", or  "Ready for a great day?".  Motivational speakers have this skill so I know I can do it too!   Check!

3.  Hugs.  Good hugs require one thing:  Hugability.  I was recently tested on the Stanz/Verbode Hugability Scale or SVHS as we call it on the streets, and scored a 10, which I think is good...right?  Okay, so I'm fluffy too, which also applies:  Check!

4.  Pushing kids on the swings.  This requires force which relates directly to my fluffiness(See number 3 above):  BIG Check!

So, while this may not be a way I can make a living, it sure breaks up the day nicely.  I have to go eat lunch now, because I get to go back this afternoon.  I think I'll have Mac and Cheese, a fruit cup and a apple juice box. It's gonna taste like happy!

Grandperson's Day Menominee Elementary 2014

Hello again BET's, and a warm welcome from Menominee Elementary Grandperson's Day 2014.  The festivities are ongoing and exciting and the paparazzi is adding to the madness.  Luckily, my wife is one of them, so we are cool.  But the tension is still thick in the air.

Bren and I got the distinct pleasure of being asked by our dearest friends son, to fill in for his Grandpa today, who was in the hospital.  Now, I can't name the dearest friends or their child, not because of any fear of getting their name or photos out there...they just wouldn't sign the release. Admittedly, most of my friends are imaginary, but Brenda was there this time, so I know this was real.

Anywho, what an honor to be asked to do this.  Although obviously, I am not even near old enough to have grandchildren(tongue piercing cheek), I find that I fill this roll pretty well.  I constantly dote over my pretend grandchildren and I put pictures of them up on the fridge.  I have an IPad, but I am way behind the times on what apps are cool and what apps are, "So last season." as my neice has said.  I drive slow in the fast lane and complain when someone is tailing me, and I like to eat at 4pm and be in bed by seven.  I was made for this role!

So, to sum up, I truly covet membership in this distinguished club and look forward to one day being an active and prolific member.  The only issue I have now is that I am only 50.  My life expectancy currently is about 80.  I don't think I can keep up this pace for another 30 years...although I am willing to try!  Wish me luck.

My Life as an Unpublished Author

Hello out there all you BET's!  So, it has once again be awhile since my last post.  In that time, I have finally finished my first children's book.  I have submitted it to the publishing agent I really want, and now it is all about waiting...and contentment...and counting my blessings...and all of the other stuff I say to myself to keep from thinking about being unpublished.

Before

After

This book has been a labor of love for over seven years.  Garrett The Wandering Goose(working title) was started about two years before Garrison passed, and then I took a five year hiatus to grieve and blame myself.  Not the best use of a hiatus, but I am finally back in a good place, hence the completion of the book.(I love it when I can find a use for the word 'Hence')

Anyway, for those of you who know me, you know that a seven year timeline on the book is not so outrageous.  After all, it took me eleven years to get my Bachelors degree.  And I think I am the first recipient of the 17 year Masters at IU.  So seven years is nothing in Mark World.  I am just glad I am not a dog or these numbers would be ridiculous...er.

So, my story is about a goose who is too cool for the gaggle or skein, depending on their flight status, and decides to go out and seek his fortune elsewhere.  He has numerous adventures and comes to the conclusion that a gooses life as a loner goes much slower and is much harder, especially in flight.  So he learns to be a good friend and helps himself, and the other geese learn about forgiveness, fortitude, and proper flight.

About six years ago, upon reading the first draft, Brenda said, "You realize this is your own story, right?"  I totally denied it and pointed out that my life doesn't rhyme nearly that much.  But after much reading and shouts from my office of, "No Way!  That is me!", I came to the conclusion that she was right.  I also came to the conclusion that most children's books and fiction books in general, are someones story.  Even the Grinch rings true for many of us.  And don't get me started on how many of my friends are the Lorax...and Wilford Brimley of course.

There is great freedom in being unpublished.  I know how great my story is and I can just live with the greatness of the text in my head.  No outsiders input to tell me what mistakes I made or that geese don't really behave the way I have depicted them.  So now that the writing is finally out of the way, I can move on.  I am currently starting Garrett's next adventure, just to make sure I don't lose my unpublished writer's touch.  Ahh, freedom.

The School Of Life

Hello BET's everywhere!  It has been a long while since I have posted, I know.  The last six months have been a crazy time for me.  Too much to go into, but always a learning experience.

Today I wanted to share a movie that I just saw for the first time.  Not a new film, and not overly popular to the masses, I'm sure.  But this film touched me in a way that only a handful of films have in my entire life.  The film is called The School Of Life and stars Ryan Reynolds and David Paymer, two of my favorite actors, which is one reason why this was such a treat for me.  I can't believe I had never heard of this before!

Now I won't go into the plot at all, because I really encourage you all to take the time to watch it.  I will warn you that there are parts of the film that you will find campy and simple, but see it through. The one thing I will tell you, is that it speaks to the meaning of why you all do what you do.  You may not approach it the way the characters do, or you very well may.  But I encourage you to look at the real message of the film, which I believe to be this.  We all teach for different reasons and from different perspectives, but regardless, what you give the students is much more than what they will show you through test scores or academic prowess.  What you give is yourselves, and that, will remain with them for their lifetimes.

I hope you enjoy this film as much as I have, and by all means, let me know what you think.  Until next time, keep doing what you do, and offering your students a part of you.